If there’s one thing that makes my blood boil it’s “objective scientists” – you know, the sort of idiots that do their research, consider their evidence and come to objective conclusions – which, more often than not – are the wrong conclusions!
Let me give you an example. A few years ago I was accused by the fascist police of burglary. According to them my fingerprints had been found at the scene of the crime, which was rubbish. My solicitor instructed an expert scientist to produce a fingerprint report – which he did – only to conclude that they were, in fact, my fingerprints! Talk about useless. As any scientist knows the correct approach is to start with your answer – in this case they weren’t my fingerprints – and then misinterpret and manipulate the evidence until it justifies the conclusion. If there remains any evidence against you simply ignore or suppress it. And as for the prosecution expert scientist, simply accuse him of being a kiddy fiddler to undermine him in front of the jury – if you can’t play the ball play the man.
I should have had my fingerprint report written by George Monbiot, or Al Gore, or any of the scientists at the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change – they’d have produced a graph shaped like a hockey stick to prove they weren’t my fingerprints.
Anyway, the jury found me guilty, although as far as I was concerned it was them who should have been on trial – they looked like a bunch of climate change deniers to me – they should have been shot.
Just as the Nazis were in the 1930’s climate change deniers are the biggest threat to world peace today. George Monbiot was the first to point this out -comparing climate change deniers to holocaust deniers. David Irving and James Delingpole? No difference, both are barmy and both are evil.
Luckily, however, the climate change deniers are being ignored by those who matter. On Saturday last this was confirmed by the Doha Climate Change Conference deciding that developed nations must stick to the Kyoto targets for carbon reduction – whatever the cost. You’ve got to hand it to those who attended, over forty thousand politicians, civil servants and scientists from over two hundred countries. Whilst the rest of us were getting ready for Christmas the brave forty thousand flew halfway across the world to be chauffeur driven in limos to the air conditioned conference hall for four days of debate on such important issues as cutting down on air and road travel to stop global warming – all except George Monbiot – he is so committed to the cause that he refused to fly to Qatar – choosing instead to travel there on a National Express bus and then travelling from the bus station to his hotel by bike. And there was no air conditioned hotel for him – he stayed in a Bedouin tent for the entire conference.
George Monbiot is the most intelligent man alive today. I went to hear him speak recently and I liked what I heard. He pointed out that, because people on benefits never save and spend all of their money, the way to stimulate the economy is to double or even triple dole money – not introduce tax cuts for millionaires! And George is, without doubt, one of our own (even if his name sounds a bit French.) Like the other great socialist visionaries and eco-warriors who went before him – Engels, Orwell and Blair he was born into grinding poverty, attending Stowe School, (which I think is an inner city comprehensive in Rotherham) and simply by using the power of his brilliant mind he pulled himself up by his own bootstraps to become a famous Guardian journalist whose work is now read by hundreds.
As George points out climate change is real and is happening now – the only way to stop it is to put stickers on the windscreens of 4 x 4’s in London, pointing out how selfish the rich drivers are, and by building wind farms to spoil the views of the countryside from rich people’s country houses.
And what’s wrong with wind farms? People complain that the constant hum from the turning blades drives them mad and prevents them from sleeping. What constant hum? I often drive past the wind farms at the side of the M1 and the blades are never turning. And people complain they are a blot on the landscape. Rubbish. People complained about the Eiffel Tower and the Pyramids when they were built. Take my word for it, in the distant future people will look on ancient wind turbines with the same mystic reverence that we now look on Stonehenge.
George Monbiot knows this, and his one regret is that he lives in a remote part of mid-Wales made ugly by its lack of wind farms.
I saw George Monbiot recently in a debate against that climate change denying fascist James Delingpole. Delingpole is not one of our own. Born into privilege he went to one of the top minor public schools in the country before going to that bastion of the upper classes Oxford University (I think George Monbiot went to Burnley Polytechnic.) Anyway George made him look like an idiot.
Delingpole came out all guns blazing pointing out that variations in global climate have taken place since the big bang. He pointed out that in the past global warming had led to the melting of the ice caps, an increase in world temperatures and extinction of the dinosaurs – and that dinosaurs didn’t drive 4 x 4’s. He also pointed out, contrary to Monbiot’s earlier predictions, that the Maldives were not under water, as sea levels and global temperatures were falling, and finished off by stating that the Medieval Warm Period destroyed Al Gore’s hockey stick graph, showing it to be a big lie.
George replied that Delingpole was not a scientist, that it hadn’t been scientifically proven that dinosaurs didn’t drive 4 x 4’s, that none of Delingpole’s arguments had been peer-reviewed, that the Maldives are in fact under water, that Delingpole was a holocaust denier and a kiddy fiddler and that if he didn’t shut up he’d ram Al Gore’s hockey stick right up Delingpole’s arse!
I wish I’d got Monbiot to do my fingerprint report.